Friday, February 25, 2011

Five Funny Moments In Sports

Sports are awesome, we all love sports.   They give us some triumphant moments in life.   But sometimes, its just more entertaining to look at the soft underbelly of sports.  The idiotic plays and choices some athletes make on the field...the bonehead moves that make us laugh till it hurts...and the situations that leave us scratching our head as to why a mentally handicapped person was signed by a professional league sports team.  Don't worry, athletes "off the field" will definitely get theirs in this blog soon enough (you hear us NBA?), but for right now, let's concentrate on between the lines.   Submitted for your approval...

1. Baseball Meets Meathead

No list of this sort would be complete or legitimate if it didn't begin with Jose Canseco.   Let's start with one of the funniest plays ever.  Picture if you will, May 26, 1993.  Meathead himself in the outfield...and its a long fly ball deep to right field...back back back back back...and what happens?   The ball literally bounces of the Meathead's "head" and goes over the fence for a four-bagger.   It literally couldn't happen to a funnier "person" in sports.  Out of all the places in the world that a baseball could have landed, it decided, by a great twist of fate, to land on probably the most roided up pile of mushy shit in the world.

2. Meathead Tries To Pitch

As if that wasn't enough...three days later Meathead asked his manager to let him pitch in a blow-out.  Obviously one with a sick sense of humor and a penchant for watching people make a fool of themselves, manager Kevin Kennedy agreed.   While "pitching", Meathead injured his arm and was out for the rest of the season, having to undergo Tommy John surgery.

3. Just A Moron

And now, Gus Frerotte.   As far as I know, the only person to ever knock himself out of game and starting position from a touchdown celebration.  In 1997, while on the Washington Redskins, Mister Frerotte scored a touchdown (yeah...i know) and decided to show his jubilation by banging his head into the wall.   All of a sudden...we don't feel so well do we Mister Frerotte?   Concussion.   Knocked out of the game and essentially his starting job with the 'Skins.   Good job, pal...way to think it through.  

4. Sweet Vengeance Of Life

Bill Gramatica has to be on this list, he just has to.   And I have to say, it couldn't happen to a better person.  After having sports fans continually and unwillingly subjected to his (and his brother's) ridiculous soccer-style celebrations after every fucking field goal as if they just won the damn world cup, life found a way to get even.   Bill jumped up to celebrate on a meaningless field goal in 2001 and came down comically hard on his leg, tearing his ACL and falling to the ground in pain.   All NFL fans jumped to their feet like a hockey arena after the home team lit the lamp in overtime, showing no restraint in their satisfaction.    Thankfully, that was basically the beginning of the end for this numbnuts.   He got injured because he had no code.  He got injured because he had no honor.  And God was watching.

5. Ventura Rides The Ryan Express

Last, and certainly not least as there's much more incidents that could have been here, is Nolan Ryan's beatdown of Robin Ventura.  In the 1993 season, Ryan (in his mid 40s mind you) is pitching in his final season.  He hits Ventura (in his mid 20s) with the ball, who proceeds to charge the mound.  Pretty normal so far right?  That's when it took a turn for the worse.  Upon arriving at said mound, Mister Ventura found himself the recipient of an immediate headlock from The Ryan Express.  Ryan then proceeded to rain blows upon Ventura's head, with Ventura acting more like Commodus at the end of Gladiator while Ryan showed how he used to fuck up steers back in Texas.   Result?   Ventura gets ejected from the game and has a lifetime of laughs and snickers thrown his way.  Ryan stays in the game, pitching no-hit ball the rest of the way.

Anyways, feel free to comment and bring up other hilarious incidents.   As long as professional clubs keep signing the mentally retarded, there's bound to be more to come.


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