Sunday, February 20, 2011

What's In The Beaver's Diary?

In season 4 of Leave It To Beaver, there was an episode entitled "Beaver's Secret Life"  Here's a synopsis from IMDb:

"When Beaver decides to be a writer, Ward gives him a diary, encouraging him to write down his thoughts and daily activities and assuring Beaver that no one would read it without permission. But when Beaver is late coming home one night his worried parents break the lock on his diary, hoping to find a clue to where he might be and, instead, getting quite a surprise."

So, in true Savage style, we thought it'd be hilarious to try to think of some of the things that would be in the diary that Beaver said would "make people think he's a creep if they read it".  What uhhh...what exactly did you write in there, Beaver? 

-combed Wally's hair
-watched Wally sleep
-sat on Ward's face and contemplated Wally's existence
-used Ward's nutsack as a punching bag
-ate Wally's dirty undies...the whites
-shaved Wally
-took dump on floor for hot mom to clean up
-peed in Ward's sock drawer
-stretched for Wally
-drew pictures of self in Wally's clothes
-cleaned Larry's fat belly button
-watched Ward shower


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