Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Random Annoying Individual: The ShamWow! Guy

This turd's just an all-around annoyance.  Riding on the coattails of the great Billy Mays (respect) this degenerate brought the ShamWow! and the Slap Chop into the popular vernacular.  What dumb products.  It just proves that people will buy a fresh bowel movement in a jar of Rosie O'Donnell's ass hair if you show some fast-talking douchebag on an infomercial enough times.

Selling basically what appeared to be a overpriced towel and a chopping device for lazy mothafuckas, this mental defective and his stupid accent took up way too much of everyone's time.  Unfortunately, sometimes it was 3 in the morning and the remote had fallen on the floor too far away.  So we watched.  And wondered to ourselves with confusion if the Germans DO in fact always make good stuff.  What a dumb thing to say.   

The guy's also an asshole to boot, allegedly getting his tongue bit by a hooker and punching her or something.  Who honestly cares though.   Stay away from hookers and you decrease your chances of something like this happening by a factor of 1000.   

We leave you with this parting portrait...proving once again that even the most bottom-dwelling infomercial makeup artist can make somebody look 20 years younger and not like they're the latest guest star of To Catch A Predator.


  1. It's from Germany? I am, too but i first heard of it in the internet today... Are you sure?

  2. @Anonymous

    No. It just says in its commercials that "and you know the Germans make good stuff"